My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
