it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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