Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You need Xanax blowdarts
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
