So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
