I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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