I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
