found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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