i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
