I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Non-Jews are for practice
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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