and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
