A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize