it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
