just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
