wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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