We're facebook friends in real life
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
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