You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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