I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
