i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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