I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
