My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
