doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
