Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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