I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
