Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
