I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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