Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just invented taco cereal.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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