I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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