K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You ruined the universe
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
