Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
