I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
