Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We named our party play list daddy issues
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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