She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
nutella sex= disaster
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
