Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
