My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
