I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
