Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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