Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
