Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He felt like a one man threesome
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
