C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize