remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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