is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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