Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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