How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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