wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
