So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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