i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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