If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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