PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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