Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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