Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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