I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize