I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
