I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have fence marks all over my body
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
