I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
