Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
