I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Randomize
