I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
