he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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